I used to have a clipping on my fridge with a list of encouraging phrases you could use to praise your children.  Good job, that’s great, fantastic, etc.  I kept it there so I didn’t sound too repetitive when I was expressing myself to my children, Jacob and Heather.

Teletubby puke colours

Heather came home from school when I had a few inches done on the first of these hats.  I thought it was going well so I asked her what she thought. “It looks like teletubby puke” was the answer.  I thought to myself yo, bitch, what do you know? (I was in the middle of a Breaking Bad marathon on Netflix) …those colours are nothing like the teletubby colours…I did not say it…that would have been discouraging to my offspring… and who knows, maybe colours change in the stomachs of teletubbies?

Heather wearing Teletubby puke

I have come to realize that our children hopefully thrive on the encouragement we give them in their endeavours, but the mother of a teenage girl must carry on despite the discouragement. Heather does wear Teletubby Puke quite a lot and is proud of the name she gave it.  She is still my best critic and her (sometimes) derisive comments often help me think of new paths to take.

Three more because I liked the colours…